It's so hard to say goodbye. This is all I've known for 5 months now. People have been telling me that looking back everything just seemed to fly by, but it felt like an eternity for me. Like I was ready to come here, or like I've been here before in some other life. Vietnam has been one great story for me, told chapter by chapter by so many faces - from tea vendors, motorbike taxis, old war veterans, professors, artists, and farmers. They've made me see my life beyond my life - to the pieces of me that live in Vietnam. Coming back to America just feels like leaving a home here.

My trip has brought me up and down this country, and from present to past to future. I've tasted Vietnam from North to South. I've thought deeply about it's history, it's role in the world, it's problems, and the problems of my people. But the answers I've come to can only be for me. I didn't do this for some academic field work. This was all for me, and what I've come to understand in the end is only for me. I don't return to enlighten anyone. Vietnam can't be taught, it can only be experienced.

Everywhere I have a face I love, people have given me nothing but love and companionship. There is little that keeps Vietnamese people from giving all their heart to you.

They are beautiful and Vietnam is beautiful - every brick in every building and every smile from a stranger fits together. They make this work of art called Vietnam. It is of its own. You can't compare Vietnam to any other place on Earth.

Foreigners misunderstand Vietnam. Vietnam is conical hats and pastel buildings and banana groves and green hills and glistening rivers and people on bikes selling fruits, but that's not why it's beautiful. You don't look at the green fields and mountains on the postcard and say that's beauty - you look into the eyes of the farmer standing on those fields. That is Vietnam.





There is a puddle on this muddy road
Where I can see my face
There I am and there is the sky behind me
It whispers in my ear

I know where you've been
And I know why you're here

There is a lady on this road who I call grandma
She sits there straight and proud like a rice stalk
ready for harvest
Yet she breaks a smile as I pass by
Her face wrinkles into a thousand folds

A bike passes me on this road
Little children on their way to school
Giggling as they greet my wanderer's glance
They whiz by into the horizon


I sigh at the mountains far away
And it echoes back into the cavern of my soul
I throw a pebble into the nearby stream
And the ripples remind me of a dream I know

One I don't remember, but I've dreamed it many times
One I don't remember, but it's somewhere in my mind

I saw a fisherman by the river bank
Both his hands were tanned and blistered
He broke his back one day alone
Somewhere not too far from home

I asked him why he works so hard
He laughs a hearty laugh and slaps his hand
on my shoulder
His teeth are black and crooked
His eyes smile like little rainbows

I sit and watch the setting sun
It meets the river like two old friends
A song of silence in the wind
I hope to find my dream again

One I don't remember, but I've dreamed it many times
One I don't remember, but It's somewhere...

Somewhere in my mind


Goodbye Vietnam


...or see you later

What's up everybody,

Sorry for not posting sooner, I didn’t have access to the internet in a while. I’m kind of tired right now – me and Shane have been traveling so much I don’t even want to sit down anywhere because my butt is so numb.

 

So we left Hue back in Day 3. We went for a final round of Hue food, something called “banh khoi” (smoke cake) which is basically really thick banh xeo cooked Hue style. Millie would say “It’s reaaally good.” Yen was really sad that we were leaving and she barely talked most of the night. We drank coffee at a really beautiful cafe along the Perfume River and just told jokes. I’m pretty excited because I can understand Hue people pretty well now. Shane is also extremely good at holding conversations with Vietnamese people. He busts a “shane” a lot less frequently now. Shane is watching me write by the way and he said “what the hell is busting a Shane?”

 

So from Hue we booked a train ride for the following morning. We decided not to do Ban Me Thuot because we’re just too limited on time and we figured there’s not much out there anyways. So we booked a ride for Phan Thiet. Yen and Little Minh saw us off at the station. They showered us with gifts and when we left they were crying. It was pretty emotional. They were so good to us and they had only known us for a short time.

 

The entire day of “See You Later Vietnam Day 4” was spent on the train. There isn’t a stop at Phan Thiet so we were stopping at Phan Rang. When I booked the ticket I told the lady (who looked like a DMV employee) that we wanted to go to Phan Thiet and she said where are you getting off, “asjkdhfashdflkajs” or “lszdfoshdofigh”. I was like shit, and Little Minh just picked one for me. Sooo we rode and rode until my butt is probably 60% flatter and now I’m pooping pancakes. We got off in Phan Rang at around 11 30 PM. We left at 8:30 in the morning.

 

Phan Rang it turned out, is not close to Phan Thiet. It’s about an hour away. We had to sleep in Phan Rang that night so we got some xe om’s and found a local hotel. We got a room for pretty cheap and wandered the night. There are absolutely no tourists in Phan Rang. It was awesome. I thought I got used to people staring but noppeeee, shit was like orientation all over again. EAP Phan Rang style. We sat down at a vendor for some banh cuon and some kind of peanut drink (reaaallly good). Some old next to me started talking. I heard them saying, “No he’s mixed”. “He’s a Korean”. “No he’s defintely Vietnamese.” I walked up to one of them for a lighter and told them our story and next thing you know we got a little audience right away. It’s happened a few times already. It’s kind of a weird feeling, but for the most part their nice. It’s just annoying because it’s the same story I have to tell like 40 times.

 

Students from Hanoi 5 months program over now we travel two weeks all over Yes I’m American his name is Shane yes he speaks Vietnamese “Shane says mot chuc” oh no I’m not that handsome Vietnamese wife sure why not

 

See You Later Vietnam Day 5 we hit the road for Phan Thiet on a beat up Mercedes 25 seater. I tried my best to bargain but they gut got me for 50,000 a piece, which was the best we could do. They packed the SHIT out of the thing and the ride took a good 2 to 2 and half hours. It was fun though. The ride from Phan Rang to Phan Thiet looks amazingly like California or Mexico even. It’s incredible. Shane said it made him happy. Some lady walked on the car and it started wreaking of fish sauce. Shane said he liked it. The man is uncanny.

 

We hit Phan Thiet and got mobbed by xe om’s. It was weird, the landscape was starting to look like Baja Mexico and so did the people! People looked Mexican. It was cool. Brenda would be going “Whooaooaoaoa dude!” We got xe om’s and decided to head for Mui Ne beach. So we were only in Phan Thiet for 5 minutes. We did get to pass all the fish sauce factories though, so atleast we smelled what Phan Thiet was all about.

 

Miu Ne was amazing. I’ve been there before but it was during a storm and the beach was one big jellyfish cemetary. This time the weather was nice and breezy and the sky was beautiful. The xe om’s took us all the way to a resort and waited around as we ate. On a whim I just went baller and got us some crab and shrimp. We grubbed and watched the beach. For some reason our guys took us right past all the foreign resorts and right to the 100% Vietnamese one. There were naked little kids, drunk dads, loud shouting moms – the whole deal. It was exactly what we wanted. We decided to stay. I bargained for 100,000 for us to go to Miu Ne and back to Phan Thiet but now that we weren’t going back I told the xe om’s to drop the price, but they were like “come on same price”. What’s worst is they said “no we wanted 100,000 EACH”. They said I hadn’t heard right. I was pissed! But fuck it I had just had some crab and I was on a nice beach so whatever. I let it go, but I’m still pretty pissed!

 

We spent the night walking around in a pitch black neighborhood. I think there was some kind of black out so we just wandered around in the dark. People had candles on. It still looked amazing Mexican – everything. Shane did his Magical Mystery Tour again and we walked along the highway and on some sandy hills like we were some hitchhikers. There were no lights so the sky just sparkled with stars. It looked like God had just sneezed all over the sky. Then we walked back. Then next morning we planned to wake up at 5 o clock to go swimming and wander around. But we didn’t wake up until 9:30. Shane went exploring and I sat down with my sketch book and started drawing the scenery.

All of a sudden 30 people popped up behind me. One person would say “Wow that’s nice” and another would say “I could do better” and someone else would say “why is he drawing that?” It was really annoying I wanted to get up and leave but I really wanted to finish my drawing. Some guy even said something about Viet Kieu and Viet Cong – I didn’t understand him so I didn’t make any assumptions. We hopped on a bus right after that at around 11 AM and hit the road for Saigon, so it was goodbye Miu Ne.

 

This time the ride was much more bearable. The driver drove around some little neighborhoods for a while. The people there are so poor. They seem poorer than in the North. I can’t describe what I saw and I didn’t take any pictures, but it was sad. I started thinking about myself as a Viet Kieu again and how lucky I am. I also thought about what it meant to be Viet Kieu. I remembered the guys comment about Viet Kieu and Viet Cong and started thinking all kinds of things – like I tend to do. Sometimes I hate being Viet Kieu. I hate it when people call me that. I don’t want to be the fortunate – the spoiled American kid that can only carry arrogance or pity for his people. I remember I gave a little boy a toy car back in Miu Ne and his dad got mad and wouldn’t let him play with it. It really bothered me, so I pondered the whole way to Saigon. I’ve been reading Gerard’s book called “Tear Before the Rain: The Fall of South Vietnam” (Don’t worry Gerard I’ll give it back) which is a collection of a few dozen first-account stories and opinions about the war era. I’ve been thinking so much about the past. History can be pretty emotional shit. However there’s a quote in there where a girl says “I love my people and I love Vietnam no matter what government is there.” That’s what I’ll stick with.

 

So now it’s 6:30 and Day 6 of our journey and we’ve arrived in Saigon. We’re staying at a hotel in Le Than Ton street just a few hotels from where we were last time for the Southern trip. We’re both joing Julie in a little bit for dinner with her family and for Christmas. Hac and Hao will also be there. Then we’re hitting up Lush to meet up with Phuong and Ha. I’m really happy to see all of them. OK that’s enough Xanga! Catch up with you guys tomorrow. Have fun everyone!!

 

Hey guys,

Yesterday evening Shane and I walked around the ancient city walls like we did last time we were here. We wandered for a while looking for something to eat, then bumped into Yen and Little Minh again. They took us for some Hue binh dan rice, which I don’t have a problem with because I didn’t end up pooping a storm this morning. Anyways, we asked them if they could take us to some nearby national park that we just couldn’t name, but they were like “Oh yeah we know.” We ended up driving up the exact same road our group took – passed by the same incense shops, the Buddhist nunnery, and the old war site/cemetery where Matt pissed in a pillbox. It drizzled a little bit the whole way, but it was OK because Hue looks just as beautiful in bad weather and this time we were on motorbikes so it was really fun. Shane declared that Hue is now is favorite city.

 

Afterwards Yen suggested eating some spicy snails to stay warm. Of course Shane smashes on everything you put in front of him so we took care of that and guess what, Shane still isn’t sick! We continued our pattern of eating, drinking coffee, visiting some place, eating, and then drinking more coffee. That night we had some really good Hue banh canh ca loc (my favorite) and did the #1 Vietnamese past time for infinity…karaoke. We called it a night at a record-breaking 10 o clock.

 

7:45!! Yen and Little Minh woke us up in the hotel. It was like the Julie alarm for Soc Son all over again. We were actually like “screw it” and slept for another 40 minutes while they waited and then we got dressed. Our imperial palace hotel bathroom has 1 minute of hot water, so I was like “eh no shower.” We put on soggy clothes and took off for some banh my Hue style at a local vendor for disabled people (Little Minh’s favorite spot). Then it was off to the art school, where Yen showed us some of her artwork. She likes painting little kids. I also found out some interesting info. Yen and her group of art students were in Konktu for 6 months for an assignment and they were staying in the “nha rong” that we stayed in. The day before we arrived the village chief said they had to leave for a night because some foreigners were coming, so they hated us and threatened to cut our legs off and burn the house down (jokingly I think). Anyways, I just thought it was special that two of us made peace with them and are now hanging out with them in Hue.

 

After walking around the school, we headed for the beach upon Shane’s request. It was the notorious spot where the boys braved the surge of the typhoon. Now there’s just a bunch of trash. We picked a nice non-trashy spot, laid out a sheet, and had a little picnic - ham and cheese sandwiches, Pringles, some beer and some soda. I went to pee in a pile of trash and found a little ball of dirty Styrofoam. I started kicking it around and came up with the random idea of playing baseball. Some scavenger lady helped me chop down a bamboo bat and we were playing baseball on the beach. Pretty soon we had a little audience. It was cool, until I hit a hard one right into Yen’s face and she started crying. Then we stopped. I told her it would make a cool souvenir and she cheered up, I think.

 

Shane made a good call though. The weather was nice to us all of a sudden and there were some nice waves. We just did a little horizon-watching on the sand for a while. We walked along the sand. Shane realized we were actually near Millie’s aunt’s place, but we weren’t sure how to get to there house and plus it would be weird to go there without her. It actually feels weird to be in Hue without Millie. I actually like the Hue accent. It’s really cute. Even though I don’t understand shit and all I can do is bust a Shane (nod and big smile). OK that’s it for now. Little Minh promised she’d take us out for some gourmet 100% Hue dinner. Afterwards I think we’re getting drunk with the art students. Tomorrow they offered to take us to Tu Duc temple (we didn’t get to go on our trip) and Little Minh’s family invited us over for some Hue lunch. Then we’ll look for a train ticket or bus trip to Bun Me Thout a little south of here. Yen offered to cook us dinner at her house before we go. OK I gotta go knock out for a little bit. Everyone be safe!! Please respond if you have time!!